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Paintball Advice
This Sunday I'm going to be joining a vast alliance of liberal media types in a paintball deathmatch with the Weekly Standard-centric Team Chickenhawk. I've never paintballed before -- any advice? What does a person wear to a paintball match?
October 1, 2004 | Permalink
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Depending on your pain threshold, wear at least two sweaters or sweatshirts.
Prefer dark colors -- black, blue, dark brown -- or Camo if you want to be extra gung-ho. The army surplus store might have what you want for a cheap price.
Posted by: niq | Oct 1, 2004 4:23:32 PM
Clothing and shoes (with good traction) that are on their way to the dumpster.
Posted by: Abdul Abulbul Amir | Oct 1, 2004 4:24:11 PM
what do you wear? old clothes that you don't have to worry about staining (supposedly, the paint is washable, but...), pref. with layers too - sweatshirts, etc. those damn things can sting when they hit you. 'course, the point is not to get hit. also wear some old sneakers/shoes/boots, but make sure they'll give you good traction. the floor/ground will be slippery from exploded paintballs, and if you are sliding and falling on a film of paint, you'll be an easy target, plus you won't be able to get off too many accurate shots yourself.
Posted by: hmm | Oct 1, 2004 4:25:44 PM
Be aggressive. At least in my one paintball experience, the team that was the most aggressive and took the fight to the other team's side the quickest, almost always won. This was confirmed by the "pros" who worked at the paintball facility.
Sounds like sound strategy for something else as well...
Posted by: Dave S | Oct 1, 2004 4:29:02 PM
Rookies get bogged down in one place. If you do that, you'll get smoked.
Aggressive fire and move tactics will keep you from getting shot when compared to wussy-hide-behind-the-barricades-and-don't-move behavior.
Posted by: patrick | Oct 1, 2004 4:29:27 PM
any advice?
If you listen to Sun Tzu, attack your opponent where he is weakest. If you listen to Karl Rove, attack your opponent where he is strongest.
It all depends on how dirty you want to get in the end.
(note: The anti-Sun Tzu meme picked up from a commenter on Pandagon)
Posted by: Royko | Oct 1, 2004 4:29:28 PM
two layered throwaway sweaters if you're smart. but it really depends on how many faux military types there are who think the best way to show they're serious (about confusing paintball with life or death) is to shoot you repeatedly at point blank range "just to make sure you were actually hit"
Posted by: Shai | Oct 1, 2004 4:30:09 PM
Even if you are losing, don't change your strategy. Willpower alone will carry you to victory.
Posted by: praktike | Oct 1, 2004 4:30:19 PM
Keep your head down and shut up.
Posted by: The Fixer | Oct 1, 2004 4:31:19 PM
I suggest a black sweater over a white button-down shirt. And glasses.
Then get a picture taken after the shooting has ended and post it instead of your current stock photo.
Posted by: andy | Oct 1, 2004 4:32:32 PM
When shoting at a target maintain a contstant streatm of fire. Don't wait between shots to see if you hit something.
Wear contacts if you got them. Glasses will be a problem with the goggles they make you wear.
Posted by: Rick | Oct 1, 2004 4:33:00 PM
Thick disposable clothes.
And you don't want to ride home in them unless there's a tarp covering the upholstery.
Posted by: Jon H | Oct 1, 2004 4:33:19 PM
Keep as low as possible. Put yourself in a position where no one can get behind you.
Posted by: Randy Paul | Oct 1, 2004 4:34:09 PM
Attack where your opponent isn't.
Overwatch movement. Establish fire superiority with suppressing fire from those not moving.
Don't get shot in the ass at close range. It hurts. It leaves a mark. Wanna see? I got my digital camera at work today.
Posted by: Alsatian | Oct 1, 2004 4:34:12 PM
My best advice, if it's a field course, it's about slow movements, not exposing yourself, and spotting them before they can see you.
If it's an arena course (small, compact with man-made obstacles), it's all about quick movements from one obstacle to another in order to gain ground and avoid being flanked.
Posted by: Karmakin | Oct 1, 2004 4:34:33 PM
...and prepare to lie on the couch moaning all the next day. I played paintball a grand total of once, and it was an absolute blast. But the bumps and bruises - and worst of all the seriously pulled muscles from diving behind trees, hitting the ground at the sound of incoming, etc. - wound up being more painful than direct paintball hits in the solar plexus.
Posted by: Bgno64 | Oct 1, 2004 4:37:26 PM
If it's outdoors, definitely go with camo or at least green fatigue-type clothes. The one time I paintballed was with a bunch of other blue-jeans and sweatshirt-wearing college kids, and we were up against guys who looked like extras from "Platoon." It was humiliating, but still fun.
Posted by: Charlie Murtaugh | Oct 1, 2004 4:41:00 PM
Rollerblade kneepads (or some other kind) help alot.
Posted by: Ugh | Oct 1, 2004 4:43:19 PM
Also, if you have a choice, splurge for the semi-automatic gun that shoots a pellet with a simple trigger pull. The guns you have to pump to shoot a pellet are less accurate, and don't shoot as far.
Posted by: Ugh | Oct 1, 2004 4:44:55 PM
Just remember that the best and the bravest die first, and that he who runs away lives to fight another day.
Posted by: ostap | Oct 1, 2004 4:45:24 PM
Watch out for jams. Make sure your shots are deliberate. Take maximum advantage of coming out of a recovery zone by, first, using the time when you are suppoesedly dead, to understand where your enemies are, and, two, to sneak up behind them and shoot them point blank in the back, preferrably in an area of exposed skin. Do not take your goggles off. Be prepared for insufferable attitude from the operators of the establishment (could be different where you are, but liberal Kerry-lovin' Harvard grads were not the comfort zone of the people running the places I have gone to (once to two different places in a mountain state). Try and remain calculating.
Posted by: theCoach | Oct 1, 2004 4:45:59 PM
An athletic cup.
Posted by: mc_masterchef | Oct 1, 2004 4:48:34 PM
Weekly Standard folks? Really?
Would it be impolite of me to suggest that you use some real bullets?
Posted by: BobT | Oct 1, 2004 4:56:08 PM
Stupid question: did you ask the ppl that you'll be paintballing with? If they're on your team, they have some incentive to make sure you're correctly decked out...
Posted by: Capt. Jean-Luc Pikachu | Oct 1, 2004 4:59:26 PM
What to wear? > > > go with style: borrow Andrew Sullivan's tuxedo.
Posted by: TomR | Oct 1, 2004 5:01:20 PM
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