Matthew Yglesias: A Modest Proposal

A Modest Proposal

My official position is that this sort of talk is unseemly, unpatriotic, and counterproductive. Unofficially, it's pretty funny. The downside is that the USC would have some real military recruitment problems and needing to cross an international boundary every time I want to go to the Apple Store in Arlington, Virginia would be a real pain in the ass. Come to think of it, having a Metro system that crosses an international boundary would be problematic in a variety of ways. Perhaps we can annex some key portions of Northern Virginia and South Florida in exchange for the downstate portions of Illinois. Alberta also probably belongs in Jesusland.

UPDATE: There's actually a semi-serious point to be made here that's relevant to ongoing discussions about the importance of cultural conservatism in US politics, namely that the real lines of cultural cleavage in North America do not track the international boundary very well. Québec is obviously culturally distinct from the rest of Canada in a variety of ways. The American South isn't like the rest of the USA. Meanwhile, the northen portions of the US tend to resemble whichever bits of (English speaking) Canada they happen to be adjacent to.

UPDATE II: To be clear, I didn't create this graphic, and I'm not responsible for the decision to call Red America "Jesusland." It's just something my aunt forwarded me that someone forwarded to her.

November 3, 2004 | Permalink

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
https://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d8345160fd69e200d8341f933553ef

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference A Modest Proposal:

» He Forgot Manitoba from Not Geniuses
Matt Yglesias forgets Manitoba and Sasketchewan.... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 3, 2004 8:12:03 PM

» A place for Kerry voters from social tonic
I saw this over at Matt's blog. I know, I know. Don't worry its just a joke. Funny. [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 3, 2004 8:22:29 PM

» Some Re-Districting? from AngryFinger
Matt makes some good points. I'm down for it.... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 3, 2004 8:51:37 PM

» Mourning was this morning. Here's a laugh. from Required Reading
Matthew Yglesias: A Modest Proposal I like this idea. I'm sitting here in Texas wishing the culture were different. I expect I have to move somewhere, and this USC combines two of the three better options (West Coast, Canada). Now, [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 3, 2004 9:07:18 PM

» Hey, maybe we won't even have to move from Nutbar
Matthew Yglesias: A Modest Proposal [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 3, 2004 9:12:42 PM

» The New Geography from The American Mind
Instead of living in a red part of a (*sigh*) blue state, according to Matthew Yglesias ("semi-serious"-ly) I live in... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 3, 2004 9:39:56 PM

» Now that's a positive suggestion from Hellblazer
Matt's absolutely right. Officially, this is a bunch of loose talk that's unpatriotic. Although I'm a little bit unclear as to how this can be the case when Jesus Land is always strutting around with the symbol of the only... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 3, 2004 9:51:02 PM

» The United States of Canada from Turnspit Daily
Kenny called it first, but Yglesias has the image.... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 3, 2004 11:04:29 PM

» United States? from IMHO
I have long held the belief that we ought to allow Texas to secede as various members of the state seem to be forever suggesting, but Matthew Yglesias has a... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 4, 2004 2:46:25 AM

» Aftermath: out or in deep from Mememomi
For the rest, I say if you have a reasonable business/career plan come up to Canada where both reason and compassion still burn bright, or you can go (further) into your communities and assist those unfairly affected by GOP designs. One or the other,... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 4, 2004 7:04:04 AM

» The Best Damn Idea I've Seen Today from Ministry of Minor Perfidy
Matthew's got it right. United States of Canada! Jesusland! I think it can work. [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 4, 2004 9:03:09 AM

» Mandate my ass from Social Tonic
Saw this over at Kos. Not as funny, but certainly more accurate than the United States of Canada/Jesusland map I posted about earlier. George Bush (unfortunately) won the election. But he doesnt really have what I would term a [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 4, 2004 1:30:18 PM

» What Would Johnny Do? from ptalk
Hailing from the bluest state of the union, I lack perspective on what the majority think. But from what I have heard it is not that Bush is conservative, it is that God chose him. 384 years after people fled... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 4, 2004 1:46:44 PM

» What Would Johnny Do? from ptalk
At least the Red Sox won. Hailing from the bluest state of the union, I lack perspective on what the majority think. But from what I have heard it is not that Bush is conservative, it is that God chose... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 4, 2004 2:04:48 PM

» Muito em breve from renas e veados
Retirado do blog de Matthew Yglesias. O Miguel já tinha falado nas duas Américas, nós mostramos o mapa - só não vê quem não quer. Boss... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 4, 2004 2:20:47 PM

» Muito em breve from renas e veados
Retirado do blog de Matthew Yglesias. O Miguel já tinha falado nas duas Américas, nós mostramos o mapa - só não vê quem não quer. Boss PS: O Moby concorda plenamente com o mapa. Obrigado pela dica miss detective... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 4, 2004 6:10:23 PM

Tracked on Nov 4, 2004 8:12:12 PM

» Losers' First Reaction: Bigotry from The American Mind
Bitterness and vitrol from the Left became bigotry toward Christians. I'd like to think that such mean-spiritedness rests solely with... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 4, 2004 10:46:04 PM

» Being Respectful from Blog of the Moderate Left
....We do that in a thousand different ways, folks, and it's time to knock it off. Because guess what? We need more people to support us. Mocking and ridiculing them won't help. So let's stop doing it. And let's start this cessation by elimina... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 5, 2004 3:02:01 AM

» Mapping the Election from JOLLYBLOGGER - a weblog for jolly beggars
We've all seen the map of the red and blue states, but have you seen the map of the red and blue counties? Here's the USA Today map of red and blue counties from the 2000 election. If you look [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 5, 2004 7:46:53 AM

» Straining to return from Wonk!
Everyone's looking for answers. Even for someone who's apparently found his, I'm still spending a lot of time reading about other people's search for answers. I'm reading about all these people - on Daily Kos, on Political Animal, on [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 5, 2004 9:07:09 AM

» It's the End of the World from L O G O R R H E I C
If you aren't in the know, George W. Bush won a second term as the United States of America's president. There are a lot of things that are flying through my mind about this. But the majority of the people in the United States did vote for him, and he... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 7, 2004 7:58:24 PM

» Why Democrats are blue... from OverMatter
Electoral College election-result maps now nearly always show Democrats as blue and Republicans as red. There have been many explanations as to why, but here are four new (?) theories: 1. Democrats are feeling blue (i.e. depressed) over the many [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 8, 2004 8:14:35 AM

» Jews for Jesusland from Aaron's Rantblog, aka Aaron the Liberal Slayer
I'll take Jesusland over Chomskyland, Burkastan or the Dhimmicratic People's Republic of France any day. As long as Jesusland remains planted firmly in the heretofore pogrom-free soil of the United States. The future is Muslim, European or... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 9, 2004 1:08:00 AM

» Jesusland from slouching toward bethlehem
As the previous graphics have shown, this nation has been torn asunder. I say let the healing begin and, God willing, we will find our way to harmony. Frankly, I don't think the name is right, as the red... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 12, 2004 12:48:09 PM

Tracked on Nov 12, 2004 12:49:27 PM

» Forces rising against the Imperium? from Simon and the Lefties
No calls to take real action as of yet, but the people of California and the Northeast are talking about ... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 14, 2004 11:24:01 PM

» Deténte in the Culture War, Part I from Quiet Declarations
I've got to admit, I've been stalling. Normally I feel like I can find some political niche to at least try and offer some insight, but with every pundit, columnist, and blogger writing nonstop about the election for two solid weeks there's very little... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 15, 2004 3:17:31 AM

Tracked on Nov 15, 2004 3:21:18 AM

» A new map from gillianic tendencies
Forwarded to me from my dad: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of Canada and to the Republic... Oh, never mind. If nothing else, this map puts all of my North American family in the same country, though I could see my grandma wanting... [Read More]

Tracked on Nov 28, 2004 2:11:42 PM

» Stupid Letters from Horologium
Hmmm, the lefty revisionists are already working to erase some of their more embarrassing moments. Too bad the internet has some persistence. From today's Seattle Times: State Sen. Bob Morton's proposal to divide Washington into two states is a new... [Read More]

Tracked on Mar 3, 2005 11:51:56 PM

Tracked on Mar 4, 2005 12:19:37 AM

» gill from koll
nill [Read More]

Tracked on Jul 11, 2005 4:52:40 AM

» StorageTek from Insure Blog
What does this ruling mean? If it stands up on appeal, it means StorageTek has a monopoly on service for all of its machines. No independent vendor will be able to compete with them for service contracts because no independent vendor... [Read More]

Tracked on Aug 11, 2005 5:27:49 PM

» Flow Of Time from L o n g
Here's a bit more about the long tail by Bnoopy.... [Read More]

Tracked on Sep 13, 2005 11:04:46 AM

Comments

Yes, we may need to institute some relocation programs, but I could live with that.

Posted by: Chibi | Nov 3, 2004 8:08:14 PM

I can see one obvious problem, right off the bat: Didn't it occur to you that there were parts of Canada, (Quite large parts, as a matter of fact.) that might want to be part of "Jesusland"???

Posted by: Brett Bellmore | Nov 3, 2004 8:12:04 PM

The downside is that the USC would have some real military recruitment problems...

Not necessarily. Costa Rica used to make do without an army. You could simply outsource all your military needs to Jesusland in exchange for Canadian beer.

Posted by: P.B. Almeida | Nov 3, 2004 8:12:22 PM

Devolution.

It worked for Scotland.

It worked for Wales.

It can work for the Blue States.

Posted by: tripsarecopsem | Nov 3, 2004 8:13:33 PM

The bigger problem is that Jesusland would reap all of the vacation revenue. Come on, California just isn't that exciting. I'm sure that the Great Lakes hold little appeal. Could you imaging someone coming up from Jesusland to spend a holiday in the USC. How would we take care of our friends in Austin, Atlanta, New Orleans and other reasonable cities? It may be irresponsible, but it's much more fun than working on policy analysis.

Posted by: Brendon Riggs | Nov 3, 2004 8:15:52 PM

Yeah, I'd suggest that, too, but Democrats freak whenever you mention federalism. It's going to take some time for them to get used to the idea that, since they're not going to control the federal government, they might want some local autonomy. They're too used to the situation being the reverse, them on top, and Republicans asking to be left alone.

Posted by: Brett Bellmore | Nov 3, 2004 8:16:24 PM

Please just stay the fuck away from us Canadians.
We don't want your cancer-ridden electorate to poison our populace. thirty years ago, hoardes of pot-smoking draft dodgers were okay, but this time it's different.
Sorry, you broke it, you fix it.

concerned canadian

Posted by: timbo | Nov 3, 2004 8:25:32 PM

Don't worry timbo, no matter how bad it gets here, I wouldn't want to unite with you guys. You're too milquetoast. Must be tough to base your whole culture on opposing the more dominant culture to the south.

Oh yeah, you gave us Jim Carrey and Michael J. Fox. Thanks dude. You have Can Con laws for a reason. Enjoy Time Horton's and the Beer Store and your third class status.

Posted by: sloth | Nov 3, 2004 8:33:32 PM

You could go to the Apple Store in Montgomery Mall (yeah, I know - no Metro)

Posted by: Steve Jobs | Nov 3, 2004 8:35:17 PM

Even the Southern *colonies* weren't like the rest of the country. I'm beginning to think we should just let them win the Civil War already. Oh, wait--we already have!

As for the frostbacks, first of all, its *they* that resemble *us* (it's not like 90% of *our* population is 50 miles from the border, and while you can buy Budweiser in Vancouver, try going to a McDonald's in Seattle and asking for back bacon on your Egg McMuffin). Secondly, secession from Jesusland would abandon our brothers in Austin, DC, Cleveland, Santa Fe, New Orleans, etc. But the idea does have some merit: as a former hockey playing American, President Kerry could unify a deeply divided United States of Canada like no other candidate.

Posted by: Adam | Nov 3, 2004 8:35:27 PM

What's the difference between a Canadian and a canoe?

Canoes tip.

Posted by: Just Karl | Nov 3, 2004 8:38:53 PM

Come on, Canada. The only alternative is to keep the entire US controlled by Jesusland -- and what if they decide to invade and convert you for your own good?

Another evil thought: just maybe we could arrange to focus the attention of the Islamic Fascists on Jesusland instead of the U.S.C. (notwithstanding all those Jews in New York City) -- thereby arranging to kill two turkeys with one stone.

Posted by: Bruce Moomaw | Nov 3, 2004 8:39:38 PM

You're in luck, Bruce, since that's what Bin Laden promised to do anyway: Spare any state that voted for Kerry from his target list.

Posted by: Brett Bellmore | Nov 3, 2004 8:42:20 PM

Well, personally, Brett, if the world is about to have its first nuclear religious war, I wouldn't at all mind sitting on the sidelines.

Posted by: Bruce Moomaw | Nov 3, 2004 8:44:47 PM

MY, it's actually not hard to eliminate the power of the Southern states. Just combine the dozen or so Southern states in to one giant Southern state (call it say the Old Dominion) and then we'll eliminate the South from having any power in the Senate and deflate their power in the electoral college. And all this you can do without a constitutional amendment but with simply a law by Congress!

Posted by: Dan the Man | Nov 3, 2004 8:45:40 PM

I was going to say something about letting the USC keep Vegas, but in the USC we wouldn't need a Vegas. But Jesusland would need an officially designated decadent zone.

Posted by: Justin Slotman | Nov 3, 2004 8:45:51 PM

You're in luck, Bruce, since that's what Bin Laden promised to do anyway: Spare any state that voted for Kerry from his target list.

Somehow I missed that, Brett. Do you have a citation for this claim?

Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Nov 3, 2004 8:48:20 PM

Sorry, Matt, it won't work. Where will all the tax dollars go if there are no more red states to accept them? Since we're too liberal to cut taxes, we'd have this giant surplus sucking investment out of our economy.

Posted by: dan | Nov 3, 2004 8:57:26 PM

As a native (if long-gone) Albertan, I think Alberta firmly belongs in the USOC. Its two urban centers are more libertarian conservative than cultural conservative, and someone running against socialized medicine couldn't get elected dogcatcher. It only seems Jeebofascist by Canadian standards...

Posted by: Scott Lemieux | Nov 3, 2004 9:01:52 PM

Lovecraft: see

http://www.antiwar.com/cole/?articleid=3898

"'In conclusion, I tell you in truth, that your security is not in the hands of Kerry, nor Bush, nor al-Qaeda. No. Your security is in your own hands. And every state [wilayah] that doesn't play with our security has automatically guaranteed its own security.'"

"MEMRI is claiming that the word used for "state" in this sentence means state as in Rhode Island and New Jersey.

"But while they are right to draw attention to the oddness of the diction, their conclusion is impossible."

For an alternate interpretation, see Mickey Kaus: bin Laden is indeed talkking about US states but *not* about the election (he groups Bush and Kerry together) but about state *secesion*! Kaus quotes

"a 2001 the description of a 1996 interview he gave to, yes, Robert Fisk:

"'Intelligent - and eloquent in Arabic - bin Laden undoubtedly is. But his understanding of foreign affairs is decidedly eccentric. At one point, he even suggested to me that individual US states might secede from the Union because of Washington's support for Israel. [Emphasis added]

"In other words, it may not be that bin Laden's so in touch with American politics that he's reading RealCLearPolitics and counting up electoral votes. He may be so out of touch that he hasn't learned about the Civil War. ... This suggests that while MEMRI's translation may be accurate, the focus of both MEMRI and the NY Post on the current presidential election may be misplaced. Bin Laden may not be offering protection to a state that votes against Bush. He may not be talking about the election at all. He may be looking past the election and attempting to offer protection to states that secede, or follow their own foreign policies. ... P.S.: Note that this interpretation would both fit the translation and explain why bin Laden seemingly lumps Kerry and Bush together. He's not trying to get votes for either man. ..."
http://www.slate.com/id/2108954/

Posted by: David T | Nov 3, 2004 9:04:00 PM

That last video of his.

http://www.nypost.com/news/nationalnews/33124.htm

Dan, you seem to have some interesting notions of what's within Congress's authority. But even assuming that was, (It isn't.) why would a Republican Congress want to do that? They'd be more likely to break Texas up into a half dozen new states. (All but one Republican, of course.)

Posted by: Brett Bellmore | Nov 3, 2004 9:04:17 PM

How would the Red states sustain themselves without subsidies from the Blue states? Secession would never work.

List of dollar returns for every dollar sent to DC in federal taxes.
Biggest donees.

1. D.C. ($6.17)
2. North Dakota ($2.03)
3. New Mexico ($1.89)
4. Mississippi ($1.84)
5. Alaska ($1.82)
6. West Virginia ($1.74)
7. Montana ($1.64)
8. Alabama ($1.61)
9. South Dakota ($1.59)
10. Arkansas ($1.53)

These are the ten states that get the least back from Washington.

1. New Jersey ($0.62)
2. Connecticut ($0.64)
3. New Hampshire ($0.68)
4. Nevada ($0.73)
5. Illinois ($0.77)
6. Minnesota ($0.77)
7. Colorado ($0.79)
8. Massachusetts ($0.79)
9. California ($0.81)
10. New York ($0.81)

Posted by: JSB | Nov 3, 2004 9:04:58 PM

You're in luck, Bruce, since that's what Bin Laden promised to do anyway: Spare any state that voted for Kerry from his target list.

Somehow I missed that, Brett. Do you have a citation for this claim?

Brett seems to be referring to the discredited MEMRI translation. For an analysis by someone who actually knows Arabic, try Juan Cole at
http://www.juancole.com/2004_11_01_juancole_archive.html#109938356137329197

Posted by: Max | Nov 3, 2004 9:08:26 PM

Brett, I was just handing out logical possibilities not realistic possibilities. That was so duh obvious.

Posted by: Dan the Man | Nov 3, 2004 9:08:51 PM

Slotman:

The Jesuslanders would have New Orleans. That's what worries me. (Jesuslanders sounds awkwards. Should we call them Christlanders? [shudder] wow, that's a scary-sounding word.)

Posted by: Adam | Nov 3, 2004 9:09:16 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.