Matthew Yglesias: Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash

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Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash

Everything old is new again in the Royal Navy, or so it would seem. Freedom, meanwhile, has not yet completed its march into the American military. But when I contemplate the possibility that the USA will find itself invading Iran at some point over the next few years, I think the silver lining in the cloud is that when they start conscripting people for occupation duty in Teheran, tolerant millenials will have little compunction about pretending to be gay to try and avoid service which will force a revision of the policy. Always look on the bright side....

February 22, 2005 | Permalink

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Comments

I agree with all your points Mr Y, and I don't mean to digress here but after we have a multi-million man army simultaneously occupying Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, and Syria, and *another* band of Islamist goons from *Saudi Arabia* and *Egpyt* spearheaded by people in *Pakistan* manages to blow up several thousand Americans on American soil (again), will there ever come a point when we do something about the people who are actually trying to kill us and the countries they actually come from, or are we going to spend the next seven decades just invading and occupying every country but the ones that really matter?

Posted by: Robin the Hood | Feb 22, 2005 2:35:14 AM

Funny. But I wonder if anybody tried this already. I mean, we have all those deserters. Is it really as easy as stepping out of the closet to get out of the army?

Posted by: battlepanda | Feb 22, 2005 3:07:40 AM

Um, since the only party in this country advocating conscription is the Democratic party, I take it you figure Hillary is going to invade Iran in 2009, after Democrats retake Congress?

Posted by: Brett Bellmore | Feb 22, 2005 6:40:42 AM

Kids like MattY apparently don't remember that, if someone claimed to be gay during the draft for the Vietnam War, he was conscripted anyway. Or that, if someone claimed to be gay during the call-up for the 1st Gulf War, he was called up anyway. Or that George Moskos, the "socialogist perfessor" who was the architect of "don't ask/don't tell," later said that, if a draft is instituted, gays should not be exempt from the draft.

It should be clear that Moskos's DADT policy is based on a fraud. No surprise.

Posted by: raj | Feb 22, 2005 6:42:16 AM

Brett, I don't remember any Bush ads last year in which he promised to make Social Security destruction his top priority, yet that's what he's doing now.

Posted by: Barry | Feb 22, 2005 8:09:36 AM

Brett, I don't remember any Bush ads last year in which he promised to make Social Security destruction his top priority, yet that's what he's doing now.

Posted by: Barry | Feb 22, 2005 8:12:05 AM

Matt, that 'wait a minute' script does strange things with IE for the Mac (of course, IE for the Mac is an unholy cross-breed in and of itself).

Posted by: Barry | Feb 22, 2005 8:13:11 AM

Rum etc. - one of my favorite albums. The Pogues rule.

Posted by: John Isbell | Feb 22, 2005 8:30:07 AM

Looking for a few good men.

Here are some questions I ask ex-servicemen to help understand the number of gays in the military. First, this is for heterosexuals, homos know what I’m talking about. Second, if you are over 30, you must remember what it was like to be 18 and constantly on a testosterone high.

Would you volunteer to join the service if they offered you the following?

1. You would serve with the women. The women would not know you are a man.
2. You will sleep where women sleep. Shower with women. Listen to their wants, desires, and opinions of a particular man or men in general.
3. You could go around butt naked with a host of women in the same state of dress, but you can never show any arousal – none. If you do, you’ll be kicked out.
4. After a while, there will be certain women whom you could give a wink or special nod. When off duty, you can go to a motel and fuck each others brains out.
5. Of course, they’ll be some sweet thing that you will find irresistible, and after being in a bar and having too much to drink, you will make a pass at her. She’ll come back tell the commanding officer and you’ll be kicked out.
6. If they had offered that to me, I’d still be in.

See, gays have a privilege that heteros can only dream about.

Posted by: scou29c | Feb 22, 2005 8:41:30 AM

I thought it was rum, BUGGERY, and the lash. Methinks the gray lady has cleaned that up a bit.

Posted by: aretino | Feb 22, 2005 9:52:00 AM

I know it's the title of a Pogues album. I thought it was something Churchill said. Maybe it was cleaned up for the album title.

Posted by: Ed Marshall | Feb 22, 2005 10:04:06 AM

Apparently it's something he never said but got attributed to him and he told his assistant Anthony Montague-Browne that he wished he had said said it.

Posted by: Ed Marshall | Feb 22, 2005 10:08:51 AM

Battlepanda,
Yes, it is a easy as that. I am in the Navy, and the only people I know who claimed to be gay were just trying to get out. You can get an honorable discharge. It's much better than, say, using drugs to get out.

Posted by: Michael | Feb 22, 2005 10:25:10 AM

Apparently it's something he never said but got attributed to him and he told his assistant Anthony Montague-Browne that he wished he had said it.

Don't crush my illusions!

From memory, the whole "quotation" goes like this, after some fussy old admirals complain that First Lord Churchill is destroying "the traditions of the Royal Navy":

The traditions of the Royal Navy! What are they? I will tell you. They are three: rum, sodomy, and the lash. Good morning, gentlemen.

I'll choose to think that Churchill had to have plausible deniability on sassing the admirals so bluntly.

Posted by: Anderson | Feb 22, 2005 10:26:01 AM

I was amazed that the Pogues toured Britain in December. And am immensely hopeful that they'll return to the US.

Of course, when I saw this story in the paper this morning, I found my self humming "In The Navy" and getting strange looks from my coworkers. And then I was thinking about the greatest Muppet show scene of all time, the pigs, complete with horned helmets manning a Viking long ship and singing that song...

Posted by: benton | Feb 22, 2005 11:15:16 AM

benton: as amusing as that sounds, absolutely no Muppet scene can top "manah manah"

do dooooo do doo do.

Posted by: niq | Feb 22, 2005 12:13:09 PM

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