Caesar's Bath

Kriston passes the baton my way, on an exciting blog game that I wish would catch on but sort of isn't:

Behold, the Caesar’s Bath meme! List five things that people in your circle of friends or peer group are wild about, but you can’t really understand the fuss over. To use the words of Caesar (from History of the World Part I), “Nice. Nice. Not thrilling . . . but nice.”

Sanchez already nabbed Interpol and Wonderland, while Kriston got "graphic novel triumphalism," so here five new ones:

1. The Atlantic Monthly: This is probably one of these things that it's not good for one's career to say, but David Bradley seems like a man of integrity, so I'll say it -- this is a bad magazine. Now don't get me wrong, some of my best friends work for The Atlantic. Ross, Matt, Nathan, etc., you're all wonderful and "the world in numbers" is the bomb. And there's some great writers here -- Josh Green, James Fallows -- doing some great pieces. And yet. If you're publishing 5,237 pages a month and you can't generate six must-read articles a year there's something seriously wrong with you. The rest, meanwhile, contains some real stinkers. Remember Howell Raines' novella "Why I Am Awesome And The Best Newspaper In The World Sucks Because It Fired Me?" I think you do. And don't get me started on Bernard Henri-Levy eleventy-million part opus in the current issue. The magazine is so invested in signaling to you that this is a Great Magazine that a Smart Person Such As Yourself Will Read that it fails to actually be a great magazine that a smart person needs to read.
2. The Royal Tenenbaums: Rushmore -- quirky, cool, and awesome. The Life Aquatic was, in its nutball way, rather charming. This film, however, is dull, pretentious crap. Again, it's a work so committed to sending its audience the appropriate meta-message (this is Great) that it doesn't actually do anything. It's all atmospherics, dressing up something that's fundamentally loose, baggy, and pointless.
3. College Basketball: It's like basketball, but the players are bad! When it comes to sports, tastes differ. Folks who prefer baseball are, I think, insane. Admirers of the run-and-gun game (those who'd prefer a Suns-Sonics match to a Spurs-Pistons game) are bad people, both morally and aesthetically. But the fans of the college game surely don't even believe what they're saying. Do they really want to see puny, second-rate athletes going at it? Then where are the crowds at the WNBA? How come they're not ditching their local NBA squad for a CBA team? Because that would be dumb. Leave aside the silly rules (four hour shot clock, girlie three point line, "one and one" free throws) -- good games are played by good players. Nobody wants to see the Wizards play the Hawks, the people want to see the Cavs. Why? Because they want LeBron. And where won't you see King James playing? The Final Four, that's where. I've been known to watch an NFL Europe game when real football's out of season, but in head-to-head competition, there's no contest.
4. The Red Room: Obviously, if you're going to a show upstairs, this is a logical place for a pre-music drink. But otherwise the appeal is . . . what? The uncomfortable chairs? The grimey floors? The posturing, "I wish I lived in New York" hipster clientel? No, no, and no. It's a fine place to go if you happen to be there, but to walk past a whole row of bars en route just to experience its indie rock goodness is absurd.
5. Lost: Don't get me wrong, unlike most things on television this is definitely tolerable. But it's just that, tolerable. Being weird isn't the same as being deep, or being good. It's certainly not the same when the weirdness is purchased not through stylistic or thematic innovation, but simply through having plot development and character behavior make no sense.

I pass to Phoebe, Ross, and Tim.