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Fun With Brio

The greatest publication on the planet bar none is Brio, published by Focus on the Family and designed to provide a Christian counterpoint to Seventeen and so forth. For example, you can read about how tight shirt-wearing sluts are ruining bible study:

Say your friend Brad is standing before your youth group because your youth pastor asked him to read a passage from the Bible. Brad pauses as he’s reading to make eye contact with the group, just as his speech teacher taught him to do.

The moment Brad looks up, he sees a girl wearing a tight T-shirt. Immediately, Brad’s mind is distracted from the Lord and the Bible — two things he’s truly interested in.

Brad’s able to keep going. He doesn’t let on that he’s no longer concentrating on the words coming from his mouth. But in fact, for the rest of the evening, Brad feels uncomfortable around the girl he spotted, struggling between sinful thoughts and wanting to treat her as a sister in Christ.

All because of a T-shirt? you might think. Yes — all because of a tight T-shirt that showed too much of a girl’s body.

There's something refreshing about this perspective. Contemporary anti-feminism tends to be all-too-slick, filled with clever arguments about how controlling women's sexuality is something we need to do for women's own good. Here we get the real deal.

October 26, 2005 | Permalink

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» And Did You Know That 99.10% Of All Women Who Wear Black Underwear Are Closet Whores? from Pandagon
We have Yglesias to thank for the discovery of brio magazine. At first I thought this had to be a parody. I mean, can this passage be serious? "Have you noticed that when you raise your hands in the air,... [Read More]

Tracked on Oct 26, 2005 8:53:36 PM

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Put down your copy of YM. Today you will leave your spiritual wasteland and peer into the realm of the moral majority. Let me introduce Brio, a magazine that "[f]or more than 13 years, Brio has been teaching, entertaining and challenging teen girls tow... [Read More]

Tracked on Oct 27, 2005 10:36:31 AM

Comments

LOL, I had a subscription to Brio in middle school--who knew it was still around (my personal vendetta against James Dobson: he's the reason I wasn't allowed to watch 90210 and was therefore completely unable to participate in any social discussion my entire 7th grade year of high school, and he is the reason my mother would not let me have a Barbie when I was four, although eventually I shamed her into it). At how the hell did you get to reading it?

I'm not sure I understand what you're talking about in your response though--maybe there are just too many thoughts in those two sentences and I'm not figuring them out.

Posted by: flippantangel | Oct 26, 2005 1:35:50 PM

The argument here is that controlling women's sexuality is something that should be done for men's own good.

Posted by: eb | Oct 26, 2005 1:48:42 PM

Yeah, I think MY means that the "slicker" anti-feminist arguments are more about trying to pretend that they're the ones who REALLY know what's best for women, while this thing in Brio is just good ol' undisguised phobia of women's bodies as inherently corrupting and evil.

Posted by: Haggai | Oct 26, 2005 1:54:16 PM

I've never heard of this publication, Brio, but I did have a train set with wooden tracks called brio, and they fit together so you could make loop courses, with bridges, crossovers, etc. That was fun.

Posted by: Julian Elson | Oct 26, 2005 2:32:23 PM

"— two things he’s truly interested in" Heh. We all know what those two things are for every boy out there.
Unless ofcouse you're the pastor - you need to look a little further lower down in that case.

Posted by: smashfoot | Oct 26, 2005 3:31:10 PM

Wow, what a brilliant magazine. My whole life after puberty I've been struggling with my concentration- now I know why! Shirts!

Posted by: TJ | Oct 26, 2005 3:42:05 PM

So he's "truly interested" in God and the Bible, and what, we're supposed to conclude that he's somehow not "truly interested" in the hot teenage chick in the tight t-shirt? He just thinks he is?

If that were actually true, and he were my kid, I'd be worried about him.

Posted by: live | Oct 26, 2005 4:12:58 PM

Isn't it usually these folks that are denouncing root causes and demanding personal responsibility?

All null and void I guess when it comes to the vulnerable male children.

Posted by: theCoach | Oct 26, 2005 4:18:09 PM

Excerpt I found amusing:
"With a pair of shorts, is your underwear visible in the back when you bend over? When you sit on the floor in front of a mirror and spread your legs apart as if you’re stretching, can you see your underwear or see into your shorts? (If so, they’re not a good buy.)"

Posted by: theCoach | Oct 26, 2005 4:20:50 PM

The "two things he's truly interested in" line suggests this was written by someone who finds Brio just as amusing as you do. An outside job, you know? I don't buy that it was unintentional.

Posted by: Phoebe | Oct 26, 2005 5:31:31 PM

I don't think it's simply because I came from an era when modesty and chastity weren't automatic punchlines that I'm out of place here. I'm hoping that the humor lies in the way the article tries to sell modesty, as in Goofus and Gallant.

Posted by: Jeffrey Davis | Oct 26, 2005 6:31:05 PM

Just wanted to point out this little tidbit from Brio. It's billed as ideas to have "Fabulously Fun Friday Nights!"

"Paint addresses on the curbs outside people's homes if it is legal in your town. Shop together for paint and stencils, then charge $3 per address. You'll be surprised how much you can make in just one day!"

Someone's definitely getting lucky after that day of fabulous fun!

Posted by: J. Puckett | Oct 26, 2005 7:33:28 PM

Yeah, it's also suspicious that the author took care to establish that Brad is "standing before your youth group" when this happens. And then, not a word about Brad's embarrassing boner.

And strictly speaking, "making eye contact" and "staring at a woman's boobs" are not the same thing.

Posted by: DonBoy | Oct 26, 2005 9:22:05 PM

See, but the alternative argument is that the two should just have sex and get the tension out of the way. Then, after a cigarette and a nap, Brad can go back to thinking about the Lord and the Bible.

And this method is more reliable. Because, let's face it, even if she were wearing a potato sack, he'd still pop a woody.

Posted by: Royko | Oct 26, 2005 10:01:52 PM

I was the one who introduced Matt to both Brio AND Boundless. I regret nothing.

Posted by: Nicole | Oct 26, 2005 10:32:42 PM

Brad must be a very strange teenager indeed if he's only interested in girl when they're wearing tight tee shirts.

Posted by: Phil Hunt | Oct 26, 2005 11:05:43 PM

When I was in school, there was a girl we called Tight Tee Shirt Girl. Boy did she make me uncomfortable.

Posted by: blah | Oct 26, 2005 11:24:52 PM

Has anyone thought to lynch these inappropriate tee-shirts' manufacturers and retailers? I mean, come on, let's make a pre-emptive strike here. We can fight this war on sexuality on the springy, taut cotton between young, deliciously nubile breasts, OR we can fight it at the source!

Who's with me?

Posted by: Jasper Meer | Oct 27, 2005 6:58:31 AM

Bumping into each other in the kitchen while making stuff you’ve never made before is fun.

Oh yes! Oh yes!

Posted by: Fernmonkey | Oct 27, 2005 7:13:57 AM

How DO the Fundamentalists square their obsession with making sure we are all robustly Hetero while at the same time making sure we are all constantly repressing any robustly Hetero thoughts?

It sure makes for the tortured souls they display.

Posted by: ProudLatteDrinker | Oct 27, 2005 10:42:13 AM

They've really covered just about every conceivable angle to view some T&A. Looks like a lot of thought was put into this. I mean, A LOT. Now I'm thinking about it a lot. I mean, A LOT...

I'll be back in a few minutes.


Okay, I'm back. Just had to cast out a few demons.

Maybe all young ladies should wear burkas, just to be extra-safe. I know Muslim savages came up with the idea first, but a good idea is a good idea. We should probably make it a law too, just to be extra-extra-safe. Young girls are so lacivious if left to their own devices. God-fearing men shouldn't have to be tempted by their tight, luscious, nubile, young bodies...

You'll have to excuse me again; guess I didn't cast out all the demons the first time around...

Posted by: John | Oct 27, 2005 11:09:19 AM

If all teenage girls wore burkhas, Brad would start getting distracted by merely making eye contact "as his speech teacher taught him to do." Any body part will do. Or the idea of any body part. Teenage boys don't need tight T-shirts to be distracted. As I recall, it merely required being awake.

By the way, where is this school system that has funding for speech teachers? I don't recall speech being on one of our state's NCLB tests...no wonder I don't understand these people - they must live in a different country.

Posted by: biggerbox | Oct 27, 2005 12:31:02 PM

I sent them an email:

------------------------------

Hey,

I was just reading this page on your site:

http://www.briomag.com/briomagazine/healthandbeauty/a0005126.html

And it gave me an idea for a new fashion trend that's friendly to worshipping
the Lord.

It's more of an international thing, but maybe it can catch on here
(that is if more girls become truly serious about the Lord.)

Check it out:

http://nat.covblogs.com/archives/burka.jpg
http://www.sosfrance.com/burka/burka.php

Keep ou the Lord's work and maybe one day we won't be distracted from worhshipping.

___________________________________________________


The reasons they give girls to not wear tummy exposing clothes are THE EXACT reasons the Taliban put women in burkas.

Posted by: Jason | Oct 27, 2005 3:13:40 PM

I sent them an email:

------------------------------

Hey,

I was just reading this page on your site:

http://www.briomag.com/briomagazine/healthandbeauty/a0005126.html

And it gave me an idea for a new fashion trend that's friendly to worshipping
the Lord.

It's more of an international thing, but maybe it can catch on here
(that is if more girls become truly serious about the Lord.)

Check it out:

http://nat.covblogs.com/archives/burka.jpg
http://www.sosfrance.com/burka/burka.php

Keep ou the Lord's work and maybe one day we won't be distracted from worhshipping.

___________________________________________________


The reasons they give girls to not wear tummy exposing clothes are THE EXACT reasons the Taliban put women in burkas.

Posted by: Jason | Oct 27, 2005 3:14:23 PM

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooobs!!!

Hehheh. whew.

"And the Lord spake unto Josha, saying . . . "

Posted by: Jake | Oct 27, 2005 7:07:28 PM

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